Clinic called yesterday and to no surprise of mine, the test was negative and I am not pregnant. I told them I had my period but they insisted on the blood test anyway. Super. Thanks. Why don’t you tell me something I don’t know?!
I sat and waited for my ill-fated pregnancy while my SIL gave birth to a baby boy. I got my period on her due date. The irony of this is not lost on me.
I am alternating between shock and anger. But just a little anger because as soon as it comes I block it out of my head. I think about ANYTHING else. Because I know if I let it, it will take over. It will be all encompassing, black-out hysterical rage and sadness…and I just can’t handle that right now. I have a job (literally, my full time one) to do. I have to keep functioning for now.