She Strikes Again

My MIL has struck again.  You might remember the incident after the funeral (WordPress is being difficult – see the post “Ties that Bind”), but I think she has actually topped herself this time.

We had a phone call a couple of weeks ago where they mentioned coming to visit and bringing some of DH’s “personal things” that they had been storing.  We inquired about the “personal things” as they had recently moved and delivered us 6 huge rubbermaid tubs of stuff.  I thought we had it all and I only recently just finished going through it!  She said she would “get back to us”.

A week or so later we received an email saying they were coming to visit, arriving on a Thursday night and leaving Saturday morning.  Thinking perhaps they had looked at the wrong days, I mentioned we would be at work on both Thursday and Friday.  To which she responded, they were aware of that but they could entertain themselves.  You see, they are on their way down south and they have a bunch of places they would like to stop at and spend some time at on their way down.  Ouch.  Clearly they would prefer that to spending time with their oldest son who they see twice a year.  Did I mention they are retired?! They can come any. time. they. want.

Also in this email was again the mention of the “personal things”.  I asked (yet again), what are these personal things?

She responded with an itemized list…of baby clothes.

That’s right.  Baby clothes and quilts that she made for my DH when he was a baby.

Baby clothes considering they don’t know about the recent failed IVF and IUI.

Baby clothes that have never been offered the THREE PREVIOUS TIMES WE HAVE BEEN PREGNANT.

Baby clothes that suddenly need to come to our house as we brace ourselves for the sad reality that in a few days his brother and wife will give birth.  The same brother and wife that got pregnant one month after we did and yet are still having their baby while we are not.

Baby clothes from my DH’s childhood to juxtapose that he might never actually have a child of his own to wear them.

Baby clothes that we can one day throw away with our dreams.

And calling them “personal things” – was she just going to stand there in our house while we opened the tub only to realize that it was baby clothes? And then take a twisted pleasure in our pain and discomfort?

Does she want to hurt us? I can’t fathom that ANYONE is that insensitive. It can’t be possible that she doesn’t get it.  Not after what just happened.

Right? Right??

What the hell am I going to do about this one?

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5 thoughts on “She Strikes Again

  1. Ooooh I felt my temperature rising for you the more I read this!!!!! MIL’s are tough. I say refuse to open it while they are there; be too tired, have a headache, start a fire. SOMETHING. I don’t want you to go through this. Side: ny MIL after our first loss announced at a party that a family friend “was due at the same time as C, but she kept her baby”…because I threw mine away apparently. 😡😡😡

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      1. It was just casually in conversation too…my husband excused us from the table and we left. Smh. Some people will never understand and you just have to do your best to protect yourself around them.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. That is unbelievably insensitive but I’ve found that most people that have never lost a baby completely don’t get it. My friend complained about her SIL making a big deal about her miscarriage at 10 weeks and more or less implied the baby’s life didn’t matter at that point when she knew that I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I love the girl but she needed to be set straight. I don’t know how comfortable you are saying something but if it were my MIL I would tell her how hurtful her actions were.

    Liked by 1 person

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