When my husband and I moved to the Middle East we learned about how convenient stereotypes can be. While not a correct way of thinking, in that situation facing so much change and uncertainty, being able to put the world into little boxes was a coping mechanism. It helped bring sense and order to your world when it didn’t have any.
Lately I am finding that’s similar to how our friends and family are handling our fertility issues. With the cancelled cycle, I have received so many comments like “Is this why you are having troubles?” or “Is this why you are miscarrying?” and so on.
Everyone wants a reason. They want to be able to put us into a box. “[That] happened to them because of [this]”. Because it is easier for them, not us, if they have reason. It brings a sense of order and rationale to their view of the world. It is far easier than acknowledging that things don’t happen for a reason and even more so the uncomfortable truth that we are not in control of our destinies.
And yes, bad things happen to good people…for no reason at all.