Paralyzed

Our next round of IVF starts tomorrow. I am terrified. Not of the drugs, injections, retrieval, transfer or anything like that – I am terrified it won’t work. That the embryo won’t take or we will have another miscarriage. 

The thought stops me dead in my tracks and makes my heart race and my body sweat. I am so scared because I simply can’t go through that again. Another failure will ruin me. I know that is not the right attitude but it’s how I feel. I am scared. So very scared. 

And yet, like a ride I can’t get off, here we go again.

  

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