I made the decision with my previous site not to keep it anonymous. I wanted to share my story with others and I wanted to be a resource for people who wanted to connect and to put a face to infertility.
Recently, we had a falling out with my parents and all of a sudden my mom started bringing up stuff on my blog. I guess I should have considered that could eventually happen. She was taking the blog personally and I didn’t know. If I posted about hurtful comments someone had made, she assumed it was a message to her. If I posted about being happy to spend Christmas with my DH because that’s what I needed, that was a slight on them. Of course it wasn’t and I tried to explain that wasn’t case.
But even the people you love can be really self-centered sometimes.
I discussed the pros and cons of deleting my previous blog with my psychologist and in the end, I realized it had to be done. I need my blog to be a place where I can be open. Where I can journal my thoughts and experiences. I can’t be worrying about how someone I know will react to something I write.
Blogging is a part of my healing and my process to move through the depression I am in.
Thankfully I was able to export the blog and now it lives here, anonymously and under a new name. I won’t be sharing it with family and I don’t know about friends either.
I cried when I deleted the other site. It was a different type of loss, but it still felt like I was losing a part of myself.
Consider it a warning would-be IF bloggers. Anonymity is golden.