I am not making resolutions this year, but instead I am focusing on goals. I don’t think there is anything wrong with setting resolutions but in this case I need to be more specific. I need to feel like I am moving forward and I think that one way I can do that is by setting and reaching goals that are not fertility related.
I also think that people who hate on resolutions and goals at New Years are just afraid. Afraid of admitting that last year wasn’t “the best year” or that they didn’t “make the most of every moment” or maybe that they have a hard time meeting goals they set for themselves. Continual improvement isn’t a bad thing. And neither is accepting failure.
“Accepting failure”. I feel like that’s what 2016 is going to be about. Acceptance of our situation and moving on. Failure is a theme that comes with infertility. Your body failed you. You failed your spouse. Your failed to live up to your expectations of your life. Failure to produce grandchildren/nephews/nieces/siblings. Failed cycles, pregnancies and tests. Over and over again. It’s exhausting.
Moving past feelings of failure isn’t easy. It includes accepting that nothing is in your control.
I don’t know which is worse.