Not Just Me

I am sharing this article, part of Mind Body Green’s Real Talk series on fertility issues. Whatever you may think about MBG, I have really related to some of the articles including this one:

After My Third Miscarriage at 36, I Thought Things Couldn’t Get Worse…

The author also had a heartbeat and then lost the baby after eight weeks, as we did with the third miscarriage. The one I am having the hardest time getting over. 

Today I realized it’s because of that heartbeat. Unlike the author, we had a beautiful, strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. And at what I thought was 11 weeks we learned the baby was only measuring 8 weeks, 3 days and no heartbeat. My baby died. It died inside of me and I could not save its life. 

Until this article I thought I was the only one who was unfortunate enough to see a heartbeat and only to have my dreams shattered later. I guess not. 

My heart breaks for all of us. In this unlucky club of broken dreams.

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5 thoughts on “Not Just Me

  1. My situation was different in a lot of ways, but there’s something about having to manage the medical end of things that seems so unmanageable when your skull is caving in from grief. Love to you, xx

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  2. It happened to me too. Our 3rd baby was the one who lived longest and at 7 weeks we saw the heartbeat and everything looked perfect. 3 weeks later we found out the baby died just a few days after the perfect scan. It was the hardest loss for my husband, because he really believed that was it when we saw the heartbeat. It was very hard for me too. I totally understand how you’re feeling. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel all that you’re feeling. I’m thinking of you.

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  3. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope my article brought you some comfort. Miscarriage is really tough. I found it frustrating because there’s so little information or medical interest in it. Here in Australia no one starts doing blood tests, or looking for causes until you’ve had at least 3.

    And everyone just says “Never mind, you weren’t very far along”. The most profound thing I read was that the grief you feel has nothing to do with how far along you are, and everything to do with how wanted the baby is.

    Take care of yourself.

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