After what felt like many months of waiting, we have a plan. A path forward. I think that’s supposed to make me feel better but it isn’t.
We met with our Fertility Clinic Doctor today for the results from the karyotype testing (analysis?) that was done on the last miscarried “tissue” (can we please say baby?! Because that’s what it was) and on ourselves. The “tissue” failed to culture, so no results there and our karyotyping was fine. So was the last HSG and all the antibody testing. As he so succinctly put it “I can’t tell you why you are miscarrying”.
As usual everything is perfect. Just like all our tests. Just as he can’t tell us whywe couldn’t get pregnant without intervention.
So our next step is a frozen embryo transfer IVF cycle. We don’t know when that will start as I need one more period first and then there is the waitlist and Christmas is coming soon.
I know I should be happy nothing is seriously wrong and that we have next steps. But having a plan doesn’t mean anything anymore. IVF cycles fail, we could miscarry again but worst of all we are back to more waiting.
Waiting while everyone around us is having their babies and it hurts so much.
This dream of ours is starting to slip away. I am running out of steam. I have already done more treatments and spent more money than anyone I know in real life. Friends that started this journey with us have all moved on.
We are alone.