6 Days Later

6 days since they told us there wasn’t a heartbeat. 

3 days since they removed our baby from my body. 

I haven’t worn makeup in 6 days. Normally that still means mascara, powder and blush. Not anymore. It’s just something else to run down my face. I can’t stop crying.  Every breath hurts. I want to stop breathing and for a moment fade into darkness where it doesn’t hurt anymore.

This line from There was Supposed to be a Baby really spoke to me:

This tiny life had been a part of my own for such a short time, yet I knew I would never be the same again. His life had changed mine, and most of the world never knew he had been there. 



5 thoughts on “6 Days Later

  1. My cousin (who had also suffered a miscarriage) spoke to me when I lost my first. “From the moment we know we are pregnant, there is a baby,” she said. She was right. There is a reason to grieve, and you’re allowed to grieve. I’m so very very sorry you are going through this.


  2. I am so sorry for your loss. Words are insufficient to express the sorrow I feel for you at this moment. It’s such a powerful image, that makeup is just something else to run down your face… it gives a visceral image to your heart-wrenching loss.


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