Do. Not. Tell. Me. To. Relax.

The only people who utter such words to a couple with infertility are the people who have never experienced infertility. Because if you are staring in the face a childless life not by choice then you understand you can’t relax. Let me take away your children – forever. Feel like relaxing now?

These are the same people who have helpful tips based on urban legends or dubious internet searches. An HSG, the Pill, a D&C, a tropical vacation or my personal fave – just not caring anymore – don’t result in a baby. What results in a baby is 20% chance of the right things happening at the right time in a 36 hour window once a month. Really when you look at the odds, it is amazing that anyone gets pregnant ever.

It is worse when the fertility treatments get even more intense. Running out of meetings to take a nasal spray 5 times a day, missing calls from Senior Management because you are holed up in the bathroom at work giving yourself injections and living on a schedule dictated by medication is NOT RELAXING. And for goodness sake, please don’t tell me “well, it will all be worth it” because we have been there, done that, and we still lost the baby.

So please, don’t tell me to relax.